In a Dark Place
When I moved to Newcastle in late 2020, I was in a pretty dark place within myself. I was experiencing severe anxiety and self-doubt, struggling with overwhelming fear of the future, and generally living in a state of perpetual freeze, shutdown, and collapse. I blamed a lot on menopause—hence why I studied so much about the subject and subsequently pointed my fitness business in that direction. Truthfully, though, I knew it was more than hormone changes. What I really needed was a monumental shift in how I was choosing to interact with myself and the world around me.
My Path to Self-Discovery
Have you ever had one of those moments when you absolutely, without a doubt, realise that you can no longer continue living the way that you are? It took until late 2022 for me to experience one of these moments and embark on my path to to self-discovery. Why did I let myself suffer for so long? I blamed many things, including moving cities twice in two years, starting a business in a new city, and, of course, COVID! But really, I was so stuck in a 'functional freeze' state that it felt absolutely impossible to take any steps toward change without complete overwhelm. What a predicament. I needed to make changes but felt impossibly paralysed and stuck.
The Shift
So, what shifted? There really does come a point where you have to step up and take full responsibility for how you’re showing up. After a lot of soul searching in late 2022, I reached out for support from a holistic coach—a powerful decision that I continue to stand by today. In February 2023, I attended my first-ever breathwork and ice bath workshop, and I immediately knew there was something in it for me. That night, I signed up for my first breathwork instructor training. And so, the self-discovery journey begins.
Self Reflection
Let's stop here for just a moment and reflect on my journey. Is it similar to yours in some way? The scenarios may be different, but does my experience speak to you? Does it touch something deep inside you that you 'feel' but rarely acknowledge? This is your unconscious self communicating with you. When we busy ourselves with everyday life and doing for everyone else, we cut ourselves off from this important connection. There is a lot of talk in the breathwork and cold exposure space about 'building resilience,' but you can't successfully build resilience if you are disconnected from yourself and your own inner knowing.
Tools For Change
I would love to tell you that breathwork and ice baths changed my life and then give you a formula to follow and live happily ever after, but that would be a pointless untruth. Breathwork and ice baths are a few of many tools that we can use to empower ourselves on our self-discovery journey, but they are not the cornerstone of change. The most powerful tool that we have at our disposal is self-awareness. If you have no idea what is happening in your own body, you will never be able to recognise whether the tools you are using are helping or hindering your progress.
The Beginning
Breathwork was the beginning of a deeper and more meaningful relationship with myself. I had always believed I was well-tuned into my body, but the last two years have proved me wrong time and time again. My body had become hypervigilant to certain feelings and sensations while completely cut off from others. My nervous system was out of whack, sending me into spirals of anxiety and shutdown in situations where I was actually completely safe. I wanted to learn more because breathwork was only helping to an extent. Over the past two years, I’ve read countless books, listened to audiobooks and podcasts, and even traveled to the USA to study breathwork with Jesse Coomer of The Language of Breath. The Language of Breath philosophy focuses on building a strong connection between your conscious and unconscious self, which was one of the missing pieces I needed to take my self-discovery journey to a whole new level. I’ve since immersed myself in learning about the nervous system and have implemented many tools for nervous system regulation.
Understanding My Nervous System
Holistic coaching (counselling) and understanding my nervous system have fundamentally changed me, but neither of these tools holds value if I’m unwilling or unable to connect with the unconscious part of me—the part designed purely to help me survive and thrive in life. If you take one thing away from this post, let it be this: when you take the time to become aware of and truly listen to your unconscious processes, you’ll begin to see changes in all areas of your life that you once thought were impossible. This is not an exaggeration. When you take time to stop, slow down, breathe slowly and deeply, and really listen, you will access a powerful source of wisdom that belongs to you. This is the part of you that modern life asks you to abandon, but without it, life is like steering a ship without a rudder. I know this all too well after many years of anxiety, shutdown, and procrastination.
The nervous system doesn't lie. Sometimes it may exaggerate events and over-interpret danger, but it is always working to keep us safe in an uncertain world. We can either learn to work with it or let it rule our existence. What are you choosing for yourself?
Learn More
If you'd like to learn more, why not join me at one of my upcoming breathwork events? These events are an opportunity to stop, tune in, and truly listen to your unconscious processes.
The power to change your life is within you. Stop. Slow down. Tune in.
Melanie Briony x
